(As seen in October 2010 issue of Darwin Life Magazine)
How often do you think about sex? Constantly? Or does it just….pop up…once in a while? One popular study urban myth suggests that men think about sex every seven seconds.
Seriously? Every seven seconds? How does THAT work! Particularly if say, you are the Leader of the Free World, or an International Tennis Sensation or actually… just trying to shave your face?
Comparatively of course, women think about it every seven days. But then again there are days when I think about the block of chocolate in the fridge every seven seconds, so I guess it’s possible. Although with sex, you wouldn’t accomplish much besides staring into space with ‘wood.’
Tiger Wood? Yes Tiger would!
And if it’s every seven seconds, how long does each thought last? Surely not seven seconds.
And how was this seven second theory researched? Did they get a bunch of blokes into a room with pen and paper and say, “Please keep a tally of every time you think about sex?”
And was Pamela Anderson conducting the survey? Because that may explain the theory. Every male participating in the study would be hoping she would strip down to her red swimsuit at any given moment.
I would like to have personally conducted that survey after giving birth, wearing a shapeless pair of tracky-dacks and a t-shirt with a trail of white sludge down my back from where the baby did one of those sneaky over-the-shoulder vomits. Because this would give us a more realistic result – yes?
Whatever the basis of the theory and no matter its validity – at least this gives us women the reason that men never really listen. How can they possibly hear, “Can you please pick up a carton of milk?” when they are deep in thought about burying their face into an entirely different milk source.
A more believable study recently conducted by Onepoll.com showed that men thought about sex thirteen times a day, in contrast to women – who think about it five times. It also revealed that this is the case whether the subject is having a dry spell, or hitting the jackpot.
Five times still sounds generous to me. Unless we’re talking about those times when a woman’s partner is asking her for sex, and she’s saying on five different occasions, ‘Seriously? Right now?” Does that count as ‘thinking about sex’? Or maybe she’s saying ‘giddy-up’ five times a day and they’re dancing the horizontal mambo. Or the hippy-hippy shake. Or something.
Researchers also found that men think dinner and a massage get us women in the mood. Interesting, since Ryan Reynolds without his shirt on does the trick for me. And apparently – women believe music and cooking get the man ready to ‘tap that.’
Really? Who ARE these women? They go to all the effort of arranging Barry White and roast beef? Because usually me saying “Wanna see my boobs?” is the only green light required.
Meanwhile, I wonder if that chocolate is still there…