Friday night at the club: One girl’s quest for a good time.

I so wish this post was fictional. But no. This post is evidence of a shabby practise that has no doubt become many young women’s reality and weekend routine . What I’m about to tell you? It. Actually. Exists. And I have pictures to prove it!

PREFACE

Okay, so when I was in my late teens and early twenties I went clubbing. Not a whole lot, but enough to know what my fellow female clubbers were into and why they were there. Me? I was there to dance. And I did from the moment I arrived to the moment I left. I pumped it! Pumped it!  Pumped it – pumped it nice and hard. Get up on this? Oh yeah I absolutely did if I could. The podium that is.

Was I there to pick up? Nuh. And I made that more than clear to anyone who tried to get within 20 centimetres of my personal space.  The thing is… I was not alone in my quest to be out, dancing and having fun with my girlfriends. And that was all. When the music got rubbish, or we got tired we left. With each other.  And I know there were plenty of other girl groups with the exact same agenda.

In my mind, picking up in a club was so… Blergh! Gross. Tacky. Ugh… as IF!?! Prudence McPrude.  That’s me. So when I was preparing for a Friday night out  to go dancing at a club, my handbag would usually contain the following:

  • Wallet – including my driver’s licence & money
  • Phone
  • Keys
  • Face powder compact because my makeup usually sweated off from dancing, eyeliner and lipstick.
  • An elastic band for if my hair got too hot dancing and I needed to tie it back.

Right? Nothing unusual there… I don’t think!

I’ve posted before about women’s handbag’s and what they may or may not contain. I was being tongue in cheek. I was generalising based on an image and my own judgements of that image. Seems like I wasn’t being as discriminating as I thought.

BACK TO NOW

So this morning we (my family) went out and on the way home my husband says he needs to stop in at work. He runs a popular bar/restaurant on the main drag of Darwin. One of his supervisors was making him a coffee, and she mentioned they found a handbag this morning that had been left there by someone last night. She handed him the bag and said, “Look inside…”

Oh. My. Giddy. Aunt.

Here is the bag, and the contents of the bag.

Here is a written list of the contents.

  • 1 x hot pink G-string – size 14.
  • 4 x Mint Blitz Lifestyle condoms
  • 1 x Berry Blast Lifestyle condom
  • 3 x pieces of peppermint Extra gum
  • ¼ pack of Rainbow Mentos
  • 6 x safety pins
  • 1 x disposable toothbrush and toothpaste

So this girl’s agenda is fairly apparent. I don’t think she was there to dance. And as much as I think it’s outstanding that this girl has considered both safe sex and oral hygiene…

5 CONDOMS?? Really? And a fresh G-Banger? WHY?

I’m in the process of writing my column for October’s issue of Darwin Life Magazine. I’ve decided to write about how men and women think differently about sex. I sat here on my computer last night researching, looking at this study – and that report… and they were all conclusive. Men think about sex more than women.

I have no idea of this girl’s age but she just might be an exception to the research. She thought about sex when she was getting ready to go out. And she thought about sex enough to prepare everything from her mouth and her breath, to her pre-shag outfit. AND – she was preparing to get jiggy with it more than once. She was prepared for up to FIVE romps!   Clearly – this chick used to be a Girl Scout.  I can’t say if this girl was expecting to have sex with someone she knows or not, but I think if you have a boyfriend, you might not be so particular about brushing your teeth before getting that close.  Unless you have some kind of nasty gum disease…  So I’m just going to assume she was planning to ‘pick up.’

I’m also thinking she was a bit under the influence when she went home last night and apparently (hopefully) took with her, her wallet including her ID.

Good grief… Imagine if she left her ID in the bag.  How awkward would it be ringing her up to inform her that you have her handbag. “Yes, a small gold clutch purse, containing ahhh…. Hmm.”

Needles to say this chick is never getting her pink bum floss back. I can’t imagine her voluntarily walking back in to see if it’s been found.

 Meanwhile I find myself curious about 1 other thing. The safety pins… Perhaps it had something to do with what she was wearing…. Because I would have thought safety pins and condoms don’t really mix.

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6 comments

  1. dan · September 5, 2010

    Maybe she was a hooker???? Pretty woman style??

    Or… maybe she was a single, older woman (much like a friend of mine whose name starts with L …ha ha) who wants to get knocked up… so she has the condoms, so the man thinks they’re safe, but then pops a hole in it just before the deed, with said safety pins????

    Or…. maybe she is ‘that girl’. You know…the girl who is a good friend to everyone, the one everyone turns to when they’re in a pickle. Your average do-gooder go-to girl. Need a condom…see ******. Wet your pants… ****** will have a spare pair. Ate too many garlic prawns at dinner… don’t worry, ****** has toothpaste!!

    Hmmm… I wonder??? ;o))))))

    • cyclonecindy · September 5, 2010

      The hooker theory had crossed my mind… But I’m going to eliminate your third theory based on the fact that if she really was the Go-To-For-Help girl there would have been tampons, Bobby pins, a pen, a chocolate bar, tissues, deoderant or perfume and a hair brush.

      Your second theory I can’t comment on yet because…. I might just dedicate an entire post on that one.

      • dan · September 8, 2010

        you are so right on option 3…. she would definitely have tampons!! ha ha ha

        but then…maybe she did have tampons, but everyone had charlie come to stay that night and she ran out???????????????? ;o)))) jk!!

    • therainhouse · September 8, 2010

      @ dan,

      If she’s a hooker, all I can say is she’s a pretty conscientious hooker. I mean, whoa. . She packed all those things.

      The do-gooder girl. Haha. Possible. Anything’s possible, really.

      @ cindyclone

      Maybe she had two bags. You know, how some people carry two purses : the usual purse and the ‘sex’ purse. I read it in Meg Cabot’s latest novel.

      Um.. The safety pins. At first, I thought she’d want to pin the condoms together, but who wants to poke holes in condoms?

      • dan · September 8, 2010

        LOL. Love it!!

  2. therainhouse · September 8, 2010

    Ooops.. I’m so sorry I misspelled your username, cyclonecindy. I was in a daze.

    Really sorry about that.

    Maybe she was just prepared to have sex or she knew that she would have sex that night. I heard that some people plan sex dates. So, it’s possible that it was one of those nights.

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