Sit on ‘MY-TWIT-FACE’ and tell me that.

Social networking has taken over. I know this because my 61 year old mother just joined Facebook. When your mother sends you a friend request, she might as well be asking you to clean your room. If you don’t say yes – you’re in trouble!

Not that I’m concerned. I think it’s pretty cool of her, but I’ll be sure to use the word ‘crap’ in place of another 4 letter word that sometimes finds its way onto my wall.

Every now and then I get random friend requests, but Facebook is a sacred place reserved for only those you’ve at least met once, right? MySpace and Twitter are different. I only personally know about 10 people that follow me on Twitter, and I have a sneaky suspicion that most of them are looking for “hot girls in threesomes who love a good time.”

Interestingly, QUIT FACEBOOK day is next Monday – 31st May.

The whole quit craze started over the lack of privacy and difficulty in personalising your privacy settings to prevent strangers or advertisers getting access to your information. For example, I joined the group “I love Perth Summer.” Now on my side panel I get ads about stuff in Perth all the time.

And? So?

At the time of typing this, there are only 15,869 people listed on the site committed to quitting Facebook.  However it was still enough for Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg to make a statement regarding new privacy settings that would be installed.

I just don’t see the big deal. It’s not that hard. If anyone reading this is concerned, click here  and follow the steps.

Anyway, how can I expect my Facebook account to stay completely spam free when I get spam delivered DIRECTLY to me, in my inbox, from total strangers. How can we complain about a networking site not being private enough (a networking site that has some 450 million members) when, I have 3 anti-virus and spam deflecting programs running on my computer – but still get love notes from overseas strangers wanting to meet.

I got one such e-mail last month. I used to get them all the time but they’ve cooled off lately. So this particular e-mail was actually perfect timing since I had been feeling unloved and abandoned by the questionably literate digital masses.

This one was a proposition, from a wordy vixen named Elenna. Anyway, it looks like Elenna wants to get with me. Elenna also seems to think I’m a man. Talk about lack of privacy! I don’t want to think about how Elenna got my email address. I’m wondering if she got it from the guy called Ronnie who emailed me last week wanting to know if I need a diploma. Apparently I deserve it!

However she got my address, I have a few comments about her email below.

Subject: i want to say u hi

Aloha, my dear friend!
Aloha?! If you’re in Hawaii, can you send me one of those coconut bikini tops? I want to try one on and walk into walls.   

I am a calm lady who is very friendly.
You’re opening with the calm thing? Telling me your calm is like telling me your completely sane. It makes you sound… not.

I can easily meet people and I really like to understand people.
Do you understand that people don’t say ‘I want to say u hi’? If you would like to understand me – know this: I don’t like e-mails from strangers!

I do my best to look good and to improve my appearance. I like to dance and to work out in the gym. I love to cook and to read.
Wow, busy girl, but do you work? Or are you going to just hang out at home dancing, cooking and reading while I support us both? Actually now that I think about it, I love to dance, cook and read too. I think we’d get along just fine.

I like classic literature and psychology. I am very conversational and I spend a lot of time talking to friends.
Psychology?  Really? It’s always the calm ones. And these so called ‘friends’ you like talking to? You mean friends like me? Strangers?

My man must be strong and sure of himself.
I’m two out of three on that front. I’m sure that’s fine.

Should be hard working and driven to success but know when to leave the office and come home and relax.
I’m hard working alright! But this ‘driven to success’ thing…. Are you suggesting that I make the money, and then come home and boink you?  My office is AT home, so where does that leave us?

You need to know how to have some good old fun and be a good sport.
Good old fun like gathering around the wireless right before heading out to Bingo? Good old fun like going shopping for “Komfs together?” Or do you mean ‘good sport’ like Matty Johns?

Funny is a plus.
So is grammar, but at this stage I’m thinking you’re funny enough for the both of us.

I love someone who is not afraid to show affection in public but with good taste.
Boob-grope in Dior. Gotcha.

Just know who you are, like who you are, and share that with me and we will have a wonderful time together.  
I’m Cindy. I like me. There, I’ve shared! Now when do the good times start?


I haven’t clicked on Elenna’s link yet. I’m saving that for bath time.


One comment

  1. Sian Bell · May 26, 2010

    Loved it, very, very funny.

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