♫ Fah… Fah… Fah… Fah… Fashion!

Last week was Rosemount Australian Fashion Week.

Sadly I don’t work for VOGUE and unless you do, (or somewhere else in the fashion biz) then like me, you probably didn’t even know it was happening.

So I realise I’m a little late to the Fashion Week party, but I noticed a really interesting write up online that said thank GOODNESS for this ensemble by Anna Plunkett and Luke Sales – in alleviating the boredom, and I got a bit intrigued…  Fashion Week? Boring?

After looking at some of the photos, I think that the fashion reporter was probably just OVER it because there was so much beige, but to me that’s like fashion heaven.

The World Of Fashion. They say it, as though it’s far away from planet earth.

Because it is.

Have you ever sat and watched FTV for more than 5 minutes? On what planet does every single person walk down the street looking like THAT? Wearing THOSE shoes? With THAT hair? And THOSE eyebrows…

The FASHION world silly!  (Actually those eyebrows might explain why some models eat bird seed for lunch).

Ahh, yes. Welcome ladies and gentlemen to Circular Quay for the Long-Legged, Misery-Faced, (Today I’ve had 4 black coffees and an apple), Fashion Show.   First up we have our models Tati and Yuliana, looking actually decent in actual clothes that were actually made for actual women. Who knew?

Alright, I’m going to try and put my sarcasm aside for the rest of this post. Actually, aside won’t do. I should probably hide it from myself, because if it’s there – sitting alongside me, I might get tempted to grab it and go ballistic. Much like a Cadbury Cream Egg.

Australian Fashion is progressing in leaps and bounds. It’s because Australian fashion designers are super talented. WAY more talented than designers who rotate looks year about… “Oooh, Ralph Lauren does Nautical.” “Oooh Ralph Lauren does all white.” “Oooh, Ralph Lauren does country inspired.” Oooh, Ralph Lauren is predictable!”

With the exception of some silly hairstyles and even sillier make up, my verdict on RAFW is thumbs up, with the STAND OUT best designs coming from Lisa Ho, Ginger & Smart, Camilla & Marc, Jayson Brunsdon and Zimmerman.

Hear now as Cyclone Cindy puts on her best ‘fashion speak,’ and reviews the week that was.

Mostly the tones were muted and neutral but included a few splashes of summery blues, yellows, oranges and reds… with the exception of Wayne Cooper who kept things very bright. 

Hemlines are still up around the mid thigh, although thankfully the ‘WOY WOY skirt’** seems to be long gone – with the exception of Alex Perry, who seemingly forgot to design anything for the bottom half, and sent his models down the runway in their knickers…. and yeah – in skirts located very closely to ‘The Entrance.’

On the subject of hemlines, there were a few around-the-knee length options, and thankfully some designer are keeping the maxi dress very much ALIVE. Thanks goodness for them. My legs can stay un-waxed that little bit longer now….

I also noticed florals made an appearance on more than one occasion. I’m not normally a fan of floral…. Although I think Karl Lagerfeld was being a bit dramatic when he said, “Florals are for middle-aged women with weight problems.”  Actually he didn’t say it, he tweeted it. Luckily everybody knows he’s the Fashion Godfather of Ridiculous, although I have a sneaking suspicion Coco Chanel would totally agree. However florals; as I’ve just seen, can look absolutely delightful and Summery, but I still think I’ll pass.

Themes of the shows included Romance, Arabian Princesses, Librarian Chic and Bedtime Story.  

Anyway, check these out, and see why I am in LOVE with the coming season of Spring / Summer

 Alright, I’m taking my sarcasm out from under the couch now, because I can’t help myself.

First – models… you are allowed to breathe. If you don’t know how to breathe and walk at the same time, you should probably be on medication.  Come to think of it, the chance that most of you have taken some form of substance prior to the show is highly likely.

Second – According to Vogue, every second media release boasted their collection was “effortless.” To the PR peeps that write these ‘bedtime stories’ THESE (see below) are not effortless.


It’s actually pretty random for me to be taking notice of this stuff anyway.

Not that I would make such a grand claim; but if I was once close to anything that resembled a ‘fashionista’ I am far, far away from it now.

I stopped buying fashion mags soon after arriving in Darwin. Not only because it was becoming expensive, but because it was becoming RIDICULOUS reading all about ‘Winter Trends.’ Knee length boots and beanies don’t really help me out much… 

Well there was that, plus the fact that last year I was sitting in the hairdressers flipping through the fashion section, and noted that the season’s must haves included: Playsuits, Corsets, Cowgirl, Jewel-inspired, Tartan… and Military!

How is that even possible? Was the fashion editor high?

Hang on, didn’t I JUST note that this Spring-Summer the look is: Romantic Arabian Princesses who love going to the library right before bed???

As much as I look at the models and love the clothes, the shoes, the hair, the entire LOOK, I know that even if my budget allowed it, the exciting and exquisite World Of Fashion would never let me past customs.

Because ME in a low cut button down satin jumpsuit that ties at the waist with detailing at the hem, complete with hot pink eye shadow right around both eyes?

Well that is quite the sight to behold!

** Woy Woy is a town located on the North Coast of New South Wales, and also happens to sit very closely to another town named The Entrance.


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