The Logies. Strangely I still care.

I say that because it seems like most people watch out of morbid fascination. I know I sat down with my hot cup of Milo wondering, “Who will make me cringe the most tonight?”  I always feel like the Logies are trying so hard to be the Oscars, and they never really hit the mark.

I only began watching because since blogging, I feel like it’s my responsibility (to myself) to document my opinion on anything important, or funny, or newsworthy, or eventful, or ridiculous.

BUT last night I got VERY surprised when there was less ridiculous and more funny & eventful.

Let me just say right away I completely agree with John Mayer when he said he felt as though he’d seen a lifetime of Australian television from one awards ceremony. I was unaware many of those shows existed.

I hate Aussie drama. Loathe it, and have done since I was about 15. Young enough not to get hooked…  old enough to recognise rubbish when I see it.

So last night may have been a ‘who’s who’ of Australian television, but outside of a few presenters and morning news readers, I was literally thinking… Who’s who?

In fact, I’m not even sure where to start… SO perhaps I’ll just start where the awards show started – the red carpet.

RED CARPET 

  • Nat Basingthwaite – Gorgeous dress, but who did your hair? The bride of Frankenstein?
  • Melissa Doyle, Lisa Wilkinson, Rebecca Gibney, Georgie Gardner– Absolute Loveliness.
  • Tasma Walton (Rove’s Mrs) – How long were you swimming in that bowl of bronzer?
  • Ruby Rose – LOVE the tats. LOVE the hair. HATE the dress. What’s with the big silver V? Are you a closet Trekkie?
  • Jessica Maraise, Esther Anderson, Nicki Phillips and Margot Robby  – Perfection. Whoever you are!
  • Charlotte Dawson – you claimed to be channelling the Silver Logie, I’m guessing it’s because you were in a long silver shiny dress. True that a silver logie is long, shiny and silver, but so are most tools, in particular a spanner!
  • Claudia Karvan – I know you’re getting rave reviews but sorry. Yuk. Were you off to a funeral later? Also – it’s called Hollywood tape.
  • Natalie Gruzlewski, Catriona Rowntree… Here come the brides.
  • Sigrid Thornton – Va va Vvvooom. I want to look like you at your age.
  • Erin McNaught – Bat woman.  
  • Brynne Gordon – Did you forget your matching red fairy wings?
  • Jen Hawkins – Men everywhere were drooling. Women everywhere were looking for reasons to hate you.  Simple dress probably not glam enough for my liking, but original, classy and SSSSizzling.
  • Megan Gale – Meh… Sultry as usual..
  • Molly Meldrum – So Zsa Zsa Gabor of you to bring your dog.
  • Georgie Parker – I LOVE that you got your dress for under $100 bucks from Katies. The girls from Home and Away could learn from you, especially now that (thanks to Alf) we know they’re all below the flamin’ salary cap…. Cheap dress = more cocaine.

LOL moment – when told by one reporter she was growing up to be so big Bindi Irwin commented: ”My mum keeps feeding and watering me. I’m like a plant.” Touché.

*** Copy Cat Awards – Livinia Nixon for Sandra Bullock’s Oscar dress, followed closely by Ada Nicodemou  for Demi Moore. And look – same poses even!

                                 

                                  

  

ENTERTAINMENT

Gabrielle Cilmi – You used to be able to sing.

KD Lang – Probably best moment of all. I LOVE this woman. So effortless, so talented, so hot. Ooh, did I just say hot?  Yup! Forget Jolie. I would turn completely gay for KD.  Her voice is like stirring melted chocolate. Then adding melted butter, and sweetened condensed milk. Mmmmmmm. Strangely, I had the urge for a cigarette when it was all over.

KD’s song choice? Sung beautifully, but should point out I’m SO glad that FINALLY someone covered the Jeff Buckley song Hallelujah, cause I mean, like – that’s NEVER been done before.

John Mayer – Wow, you need a haircut. I’m betting half the audience were jealous of your sneakers. Still though, something sexy about a guy and a guitar.

Rogue Traders –During one interview the new lead singer said: This is something you dream about performing at as a kid.  Dream bigger children of Australia. Dream BIGGER.  I did LOVE the dancers. Amazing choreography. Wondering if the ad for auditions to find new lead singer read something like this: Must look hot in lycra cat suit. 

Special mention: PJ, son of Don Lane…. HOTTIE.

MUST ad, that failing to disappoint me, during the Memorium section they let us hear the audiences applause unlike at the Oscars.  Did you notice Bud Tingwell got the loudest? It’s cause the entire audience knew him, unlike many of the rest.

HOST

Yah… Bert was a good choice but not sure if he deserved the standing ovation. He’s not dead yet!

PRESENETERS

LOVED Charlotte Dawson admitting there’s not much real on her face. Onya for admitting it. Now if Rhonda Birchmore could just do the same.

Someone tell Molly that on stage at the Logies is no time to plug albums. But snaps to him for being sobre.

What the hell was that dog man and army dude about? Cringe moment? Hell yes!

LOL moment – Bert Newton admitting Channel nine were having as much success as Susie Edelman was at keeping her girls covered. (My words not his).

ACCEPTANCE SPEECHES

OMG – Sean Micallef was ON FIRE. Cranked the volume every time he came on TV.

Matt Preston – You looked confused…. But see? ANYONE can win a Logie right? Even chef’s who wear cravats that get named upon purchase. By the way, loved Emma – and that she was named after your wife.

* LOL moment 1 – when Andrew from Deal or No Deal ‘spat the dummy flower’… after My Generation beat Sunrise for Best Light Entertainment Program.

* LOL moment 2 -Josh Thomas from My Generation telling the audience he was premenstrual.

Claudia Karvan: As if the nip slip wasn’t enough, she followed it with a shocking acceptance speech by forgetting her fellow nominees names, and dropping the F bomb twice. Put simply – HOT MESS.

Ray Whatever your name is…. ALF from Home and Away. GREAT speech. Funny guy! Who knew? Little disappointed you didn’t squeeze in at least one ‘strewth’ for a laugh.

Jennifer Kyte: LOVED her acceptance speech for winning the Black Saturday news coverage. In fact the News and Current Affairs section was a BIG surprise of the night for me. I wasn’t expecting to need tissues.   To make matters worse, (‘matters’ being my now puffy watery red eyes) they gave the Lifetime Achievement Award to Brian Naylor.

And now let me leave you with what i believe was the highlight. I intend to watch this over and over for the rest of the day.

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One comment

  1. Pingback: Nipple-Gate « Cyclone Cindy

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