I didn’t want to go there… but here I am!

 

I wasn’t going to post about the cheating scandal involving Sandra Bullock and her husband Jesse James because it’s all so tawdry and tacky (and every second blog has already covered it) but hey, here we go.

Comedian Chris Rock said this: Men are basically as faithful as their options. Funny maybe, but I don’t agree.

I wish I knew why men cheat. Not only because I like to have an answer for everything, but it would certainly shed some light on men I know and have known. I don’t know the answer but I’m gonna have a stab at breaking it down. I’m also not forgetting that plenty of women cheat – but I think their reasons are different and this particular post is dedicated to men.

Poor Sandy B. Literally days after the glorious achievement of winning an Oscar her world crumbles when she discovered through her publicist that husband Jesse James, was having an affair with a skanky piece of white brunette trash with a head like a footy after a grand final – Michelle McGee.

As the story unfolds, what has shocked me the most is not the fact that he was having the affair (knock me over with a feather, but a non-famous ‘nobody’ male, married to one of America’s Sweethearts, is a split waiting to happen. Did you see their pictures from Oscar night???? And there IS a pattern emerging here with Oscar winning women: Reece Witherspoon, Hillary Swank, Halle Berry, Kate Winslett…)

image by Dale Porter Killerimage.com – with my Perez inspired additions….

What has been more disturbing to me is the mistress, said skank, Michelle. The way she has spoken about him, and his wife. It’s almost as though she’s revelling in it, and it’s an attitude I first picked up on with a few of Tiger’s 14 mistresses.

I’m starting to think Divine Brown has a lot to answer for. Women who come from obscurity to front page gossip sites and magazines for ho-ing themselves out to a married man. I say the word HO, because they may not have been paid for the sex, but they are being more financially rewarded for telling their story than Stuart Diver. Which sucks, and is why I refuse to give Michelle more credit by posting an image of her….

Michelle McGee frightens me. Not just to look at, but the anger she harbours at the world. Her tattoos alone which include those that pay homage to the Nazi’s tell you a bit don’t they? Well she has taken her anger and just done a bit of venting on her twitter page.

(Warning – this link contains the yuckiest swear word I’ve ever heard and it hurt my eyes just putting the link in…but it exemplifies my point)

Can you believe this woman used to be Amish? Radar online reported her tweets as follows:

“For all you internet warriors on here talking s–t…it’s easy to place judgment when you’re sitting behind a keyboard. Get off your God d–n high horse, your s–t don’t smell like roses either. Let him who is without sin cast the first stone…in other words F–K YOU,”

(Like, that just MADE me want to do a post on her…some of my favourite moments in life have been those spent on high horses…)

Her wrath didn’t end there. She also turned her attention on former business acquaintances who have since spoken out about the tattooed-stripper since the scandal regarding her alleged affair with James broke. “Funny how Angry White Boy clothing rode my coat tail ’til he realized he’d profit more by “dropping” me..crazy how a short photo shoot for a favor turned into a “spokesperson” title…don’t forget why you’re getting all this publicity,” she said. McGee also hinted that this was just the beginning of her time in the spotlight: “enjoy your 15 mins of fame….they will be shorter than mine :).”

Jesse Jesse Jesse…. Are you on crack? You actually MEANT to sleep with her? Did you not see your hot wife in that nude scene with Ryan Reynolds in The Proposal?

Is it true what they say…. Like attracts like? Are you Nazi loving piece of scum too? Or was it just cold there in Sandra’s shadow, to have never have sunlight on your face? You always walked a step behind…..

The sound you just heard was me re-living a great cinematic moment with Bette Middler.

Why Jesse – WHY did you go and cheat? In part I can answer that. Men Who Cheat will cheat – regardless of how beautiful or successful or wonderful you are. It’s not about the girl. It’s about the guy. Gee I wish I knew that when my boyfriend of 4 months told me he was still going out with his long time girl friend (who he told me was long gone). Being the other woman without even knowing it, is the dirtiest kind of betrayal. It’s just one more thing to blame yourself for….

A few months ago, Sandra was making Tiger Woods jokes on the red carpet at the People’s Choice awards. She said, “If I were Elin… man, I would have hit a lot more than she did…I would have kept hitting…Yeah, she stopped. She was respectable. I’d get the baseball bat, I’d get everything out.”

Run for cover Jesse – because it looks like you’re on the same slippery slope to scuz-ville that Tiger’s been on since October. So far – Jesse has had 4 women claim affairs with him. Tiger had 14, and they are both examples of the first breed of cheater I will attempt to explain…

THE SERIAL CHEATER

Examples: Jesse James, Tiger Woods, Woody Allen, Mick Jagger, Jude Law, Ryan Philippe, Eric Benet….

With this breed of cheater, the thrill is in the chase and they seem to have no concept of consequences to their actions. They live a double life and are the worst kind of cheater. It’s not like they can say, “It was a one-off, it was a mistake,” or even, “It was just that one girl …” I think serial cheaters are insecure and love the ego-stroking effects of a new, admiring woman and the excitement that new relationships give. A woman who does not yet know how smelly his farts are, or how loud he snores. Her admiration is at a superficial level, and he likes it that way.

 The man that she knows is pretend, and their connection is artificial. Once it moves past that, he’s stuck with a stranger he may not even like as a friend, and so moves on.

Serial cheaters ALWAYS get busted because they leave women behind who feel used, or heart-broken, and are looking for an opportunity to get pay-back, and in the case of celebrity cheaters – pay cheques.

THE ONE-WOMAN ONLY CHEATER

Examples: Bill Clinton, Michael Jordan, Eddie Murphy, Donald Trump, Ethan Hawke, Billy Bob Thornton, Prince Charles, Alex Rodriguez, Richie Sambora, Dennis Quaid, Brad Pitt, Dave Navarro

He may be hard to resist, but not hard to catch, because the one woman only cheater will embark in a full on relationship with the other woman. This is a man who confronts his wife about the affair – sometimes followed by “I’m leaving you.” They don’t plan on keeping the affair a secret forever, and unlike serial cheaters, have no intention of moving onto someone new anytime soon.

They consider their affair a meaningful thing. They often fall in love with the woman, and find themselves torn between their wife and their lover, telling the lover every second week, “I’ll leave her soon.” Not that they always do. But often they do because many one woman only cheaters consider their lover their soul mate. Prince Charles is the perfect example of this one.

THE ONE-TIME “I wasn’t thinking” CHEATER

Hugh Grant

Often drug or alcohol fuelled, usually a HUGE moment of weakness and always followed by remorse. Which is why it’s one time only; because the guilt this type of cheater feels is too horrid to experience over and over. This cheater will most likely tell his partner himself, rather than wait for the affair to unfold. Unless he gets caught first, or his mates convince him otherwise…. or he find his pet rabbit bubbling away on the stove.

Oprah Winfrey’s leading expert on the topic, M. Gary Neuman, estimates that one in 2.7 men will cheat—and most of their wives will never know about it. Gary says 92% o cheating men say it’s not about the sex. “The majority said it was an emotional disconnection, specifically of feeling underappreciated. A lack of thoughtful gestures. Men are emotional beings. They just don’t look like that. Or they don’t seem like that. Or they don’t tell you that.”

Poor sensitive souls… so neglected they have to pull it out and poke about.

Here is another theory – I saw this pearl of wisdom in TIME magazine online, last week and it claims that mothers who outsource care to their sons are raising adulterers.

Dr. Dennis Friedman says having two women care for a baby boy may cause his little brain to internalize the idea that there are multiple females to meet his needs. “It introduces him to the concept of the other woman,” he said in London’s Daily Telegraph.

Having two maternal objects, says Friedman, “creates a division in [the boy’s] mind between the woman he knows to be his natural mother and the woman with whom he has a real hands-on relationship: the woman who bathes him and takes him to the park, and with whom he feels completely at one.”

This dual-woman life, one for family and one for catering to his every need, might become a set pattern in his mind, so that when he grows up and feels like his needs are not being met, he strays beyond the home.

Oh brilliant stuff. We’re done blaming the wife. Now it’s the mothers turn.

I think men cheat because they THINK they can, and because it’s fun and it feels good and things are a bit rough at home at the time, and they are too weak and too lazy to do anything about it.

End of rant.

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One comment

  1. Pingback: What do YOU think? « Cyclone Cindy

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