Death by Day-Spa

I’ve had them in Thailand (naturally), I’ve had them in various cities and towns around Australia, and I’ve had them in China. I’ve EVEN had them home delivered. I’m talking about Day Spa Treatments, and after having them in Bali – I need to share. Two of them in particular.

DAY SPA 1 – Coconut Body Scrub
Duration 1.5 hrs

You know you kind of let your eyes skim over the description of the treatment your about to have, and never read word for word, so I usually get an element of surprise. Boy did this one surprise me!

I arrived a little late for this because I’d been swimming. It was Nyepi Day and we weren’t allowed to leave the resort, but thankfully the pool and day spa were open and I intended on taking advantage of both.

I was led to the back, asked to take off all my clothes (pretty usual) and put on the ‘paper panties.’ I’m guessing this is Indonesian for “disposable underwear” Then I was to lie on the massage bed and wait under the covers. I always feel like a virgin bride under there…. Waiting…. For who knows what…

Anyway, it began… with a full body massage using what I think was a coconut scented oil. Not like Le-Tan stuff, fragrantly subtle and light. It was divine, the girl was applying what I can honestly say was perfect pressure for me.


Next step was the coconut scrub. She began scrubbing I’m guessing some kind of rough coconut extract all over. I was a little sunburnt on the shoulders so it did hurt a bit there, but generally it was nice because as she scrubbed, she did more massage. Then she went all over my body with a big soft brush and brushed all the excess scrub (and I’m guessing dead skin) away.

Now here’s the memorable part: She whispered something about “Now I’m going to do the….” I didn’t quite catch what she said exactly in her broken English, but thought Oh well.  Suddenly something extremely cold and creamy was being slathered all over me. After my second leg was covered I asked… What is that you’re using?  “Yoghurt” was her reply. Yes, yes, I thought I recognised that smell.. Could THIS explain why there was not a drop of yoghurt in sight at breakfast and why I had to go out and try and buy Asian yoghurt for my 1 year old. I could have been giving her the Day Spa stash all this time….

So the yoghurt continued, and I have to say, when she rubbed the yoghurt all over my breasts, (nipples and all) I felt for my husband. I think he’d love it if I walked up to him with a tub of Passionfruit Yoplait and said…”Cover me – and don’t miss a spot.”  As if!  Who wants to clean THAT up!

So I’m lying there wondering how the hell she planned on getting this off me. Then she escorted me to the back and told me to have a shower, and then pointed out a large bath filled with rose petals and frangipanis and said, “After, you go in here for 10 minutes” TEN MINUTES! Sitting in a bath doing nothing.  I felt 25 again when 45 minute baths were part of my weekly routine. Sitting on a couch for ten minutes doing nothing is a luxury for me, let alone immersed in rose scented water with petals…. 

So I did, and it was lovely, especially when she brought me a lemongrass and ginger drink. I felt like a spoilt princess. And I realised that all those who have ever called me a princess were wrong. I mean, I did enjoy the bath, but all I could think about was the mess I‘d left in the shower with all that yoghurt, and what a bitch picking out all the petals from my empty bath was going to be….

DAY SPA 2 – Chocolate Dreams
Duration – 3 hrs

I knew it was going to be good when I first saw it on the brochure. Hello? Two things I love… massages and chocolate, together in one $35 AUD, three hour package. It wasn’t the in-house spa, but one somewhere down the road in Seminyak.

Once again, I’m instructed to put on the paper panties and wait on the bed under the towel.  I have a better idea of what’s about to follow this time.

Sure enough, we start with a full body massage using coco or chocolate scented oil. The massage felt like it was never going to end. I think it went for about 1hour and twenty minutes.   The pressure was a bit hard for my liking, and I did walk away from this one with a couple of bruises – spa scars which I recollect with great pleasure! 

Next was the full body scrub. Chocolate, cinnamon and coconut. It smelt yum. After I had been scrubbed down, I kind of expected the same massage and big brush treatment as before. But instead she left me there on the table for what felt like about 20 minutes. Maybe the scrub was still working on my body… Maybe all that chocolate and coconut had to be absorbed into my skin for added benefits… Maybe she was waiting   for me to turn into a Big Giant Bounty bar so she could come and take a bite!

Finally she re-appeared and yes, she brushed all the excess off. Now because they cover your eyes with eys pads, you can’t see what’s going on in there. I always think… What if she just picked her nose and rubbed it onto my back. I will never know. But I did hear something funny!  Like…stirring.

Then a smell hit me! It was like there was someone in the room making a double chocolate mud cake. (sniff sniff) Definitely dark chocolate – at least 70% coco mass. (sniff sniff) Not Lindt, not Cadbury’s or Nestle… (sniff sniff) possibly Hershey’s?

Next thing I know there’s a warm drizzle all over my back. Then rubbing. Then more drizzling followed by more rubbing. It was Just. So. Gooood. (sigh). 

I could have died there and then. I wondered as I lay there what they would say in my eulogy. “Cindy lived a short life, but died a very happy women up to her neck in chocolate.” Or what about… “The tragic and sudden death of this adventurous girl, loving wife and mother might be hard to accept for us all, but she would want you to find peace, knowing she died with 2 of her great loves:  Demure, yet strong Asian hands manipulating her mutilated muscles… and chocolate.”

Anyway, this continued until my body was covered from neck to toe in chocolate. (And no nipple coverage this time FYI).  She next instructed me to stand up and pointed out a bath tub FULL OF CHOCOLATE! “Please tell me if this too hot..” she said. I dipped my finger in. It was warm and on the inside I was doing air punches at the excitement of what I was about to do.

Turns out it was a little hot. Within 2 minutes I was sweating. But that didn’t stop me from asking her to take a photo. I wiped my hands rummaged through my bag and pulled out my camera. Crap. How do you pose for a photo when you’re in a bath full of chocolate? Do you smile? I WAS happy… Or do you look all relaxed with your eyes closed like you’re in this state of total bliss and do this kind of thing every second week?  I decided to just kind of look straight ahead. Here is the photo…  (loving the hair piece…)

Anyway, after she took my picture, she brought me in a cup of …. Hot chocolate with cinnamon and ginger.  I was a bit too hot to drink a hot drink, but I did anyway. Then after 20 minutes (yes 20) she came in and emptied the bath and turned on the shower for me and told me she would meet me at the front.

As I walked to a cab, chocolate remnants squelching between my toes, I felt relaxed, pampered and revived…  but not so clean. My skin WAS softer and smoother than I’ve ever felt it – and I realised as I caught a glimpse of my own reflection in the ‘TAKSI’ rear-view mirror, that I had what few women experience in their life time… An all over chocolate glow!


One comment

  1. Pingback: What do YOU think? « Cyclone Cindy

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