I CAN read your poker face Lady Gaga, and it’s saying… “*#@!%*~#$&*”

So I just finished watching Lady Gaga’s uncensored version of Telephone, featuring Beyonce. It was crude, vulgar, and very strange – usually everything I dislike. But it was BRILLIANT! I LOVED it.

Generally I don’t like Lady Gaga for all those former reasons. She’s sick and wrong. She’s… well let’s use the words of Frank Sinatra…. The Lady is a Tramp.

Look, here’s the thing with Lady Gaga. Her songs are friggin’ genius. Everything a song should be. And the clip for Telephone? Yes like I said it’s sick and wrong, but kind of clever and so entertaining. And somehow Gaga has managed to promote the movies Kill Bill, Pulp Fiction and Thelma & Louise…. Actually now that I think of it, she must’ve watched the entire first and second season of the Aussie Drama PRISONER. But anyway more on that clip soon.

Since her inception into popular culture with a very positive review from celebrity blogger Perez Hilton (who is so delusional he holds himself responsible for her fame, and refers to her still as wifey), she has taken over the charts with her music, the media with her bizarre outfits (remember her Kermit the frog coat?) and has taken over Britney as the Princess of Pop. (Apparently, but if you ask me the jury’s still out on that one).

Not only is Lady Gaga a master at manipulating media, she causes a storm in her very own teacup everywhere she goes. Because she likes to carry it around with her… literally – her tea cup. You know, to keep her grounded. I know a nice cup of tea always makes me feel at one with normalcy…??? And I’ve been trying so hard to fight this urge to like her. Not only because she calls her fans ‘monsters’, but also because I don’t want to like someone who got ridiculously famous overnight by being ridiculous.

Ooh but she is talented. And now she is causing more controversy – this time with her live shows. Sydney’s Daily Telegraph – (News Limited naturally, you wouldn’t catch Fairfax bothering with this piece) reported the following last Friday.

BLOOD, sex, gore, eating disorders and so much more – all in a day’s work for singer Lady Gaga.

But when her Australian tour kicked off this week, using elements of bulimia, binge drinking and expletives as props, the chaperoning parents in the audience were not dancing to the same beat as other fans. They are asking why no Australian concert is obliged to carry a classification to warn them, say, that a woman in a G-string might ask a kid to “get their c. . . out”?

There has never been a body set up to regulate the material featured in live performances in this country or force them to disclose warnings. In her Monster Ball show, Gaga takes the audience into a gothic Wizard Of Oz land, where a video of a model making herself vomit onto Gaga is shown on a film loop.

“This is a place where you can be free. A place where all the freaks are outside and I locked the f. . .ing door,” Gaga said during her show.

Linda Fitzsimmons took her nine-year-old daughter Jessica to the debut show on Wednesday and said that she was “shocked and surprised” by it. “I couldn’t believe it. (Jessica) likes her songs and I’m OK with her listening to them. There’s no swearing in them and she’s too young to understand the hidden meaning,” she said. “But if I tried to take her to an MA 15+ movie someone would stop me at the counter. Why not with concerts?”

Promoter Michael Coppel said it is almost impossible to classify a concert and the responsibility lies with the parent. “It’s hard to rate a show. What someone might see as risque differs from person to person,” he said.

The Classification Review Board said it was not their area to comment on. Family First Senator Steve Fielding similarly refused to weigh in on the debate. 

Coppel said he doubted that Australian tours would ever carry classifications, because most promoters do not see the show before they book it.

Funnily enough, the website for News Limited conducted a poll and here are the results…

Should we have a ratings system for live concerts?
• Yes 65.62% (313 votes)
• No 34.38% (164 votes)

Okay, so only 477 people voted, but still, that’s 313 people that think YES, concerts should be censored. Are they stupid?

So I’ll start with the LOGICAL argument for this, and (for now) leave my personal opinion out of it.

So, you have a promoter, who has decided to give say, Black Eyed Peas a PG rating because not only do some of their songs contain low level profanities, but we all know what Fergie was on about when she sang,

What you gon’ do with all that junk? All that junk inside that trunk?
I’ma get, get, get, get, you drunk, Get you love drunk off my hump.
What you gon’ do with all that ass? All that ass inside them jeans?
I’m a make, make, make, make you scream. Make you scream, make you scream.

Even if all the nine year olds girls that sing along, don’t.

So the promoter has to get the Black Eyed Peas to sign an agreement that they will not DO or SAY anything that would lift that rating from a PG to an M15+. Riiiiight. I can see Will-i-Am agreeing to that. It’s a LIVE SHOW. Um, sorry, but I thought touring and being a rock or pop star automatically meant you have to drop the F bomb on stage. Even the Veronicas and Kylie Minogue say it up there. And the crowd always cheer so loud when they do. Not sure why, perhaps I can analyse that another day…..

It just would NEVER happen because no artist wants to compromise their artistic integrity by being told what to do, how to act, what to say or even how they’re allowed to dance. We all remember Madonna’s solo number for Like A Virgin back in 1990 for her Blonde Ambition tour. Sometimes the dance moves are more explicit than any swear words.

And – hello? Are these parents NOT watching Video Hits? Just check out the film clip, and then decide if you think a live show would be suitable for your nine year old. Lady Gaga’s film clips are not suitable for children. So why would a live show? (Stupid much?)

And why are parents once again putting the responsibility onto someone else to monitor what their children are exposed to. YOU’RE the parent… YOU work it out!!! Grrr. If you think I’m being a bit harsh on the 313 people that voted yes…. How about this. When you buy a CD, check out the lyrics, and then the pictures that the artist includes of themselves. Look at how they pose for the camera and let THAT be your rating system. Here’s an example.


Not that I’m saying Jess’s concert is necessarily suitable either. I mean I’m sure it would be tame in comparison, but she is 20 year old woman who wants to sing about what she’s experiencing in life… boys, sex, partying, drinking…

And now, true to her provocative ways, Lady Gaga is making headlines for swearing like she’s the first one to ever do it up there. Trail blazer she may well be, but sorry, Gaga isn’t doing anything unusual here. Parents who take their nine year old daughters to a concert like that? THEY are unusual. Pop stars haven’t changed. Society has.

And so – I say leave Gaga alone for her profanity. Leave her to concentrate on more important things. Like transgender sexuality. Like I said, I really thought I disliked Gaga but now, after watching that film clip? Well if I liked that then I must like her music? And if it was her psyche that dreamt up such an entertaining film clip, then I must like her psyche too? Which means… I like her. I am a monster.

Here is the link for the film clip. So good. (Tried to put it actually IN the blog but it was taking FOREVER) Probably not one to play at work. Unless you work at an Institution for Women or a Trannie bar.


Damn you Gaga! Damn you to ****** hell!



  1. Dara · March 23, 2010

    I admire her for her complete and utter devotion to her art, I know I couldn’t always walk around in a leotard and the like, and some of those outfits would make life sooo difficult.
    “Hun, just gotta go get some milk….OK just wait an hour while I wrap this bandage around my head/face/body!”
    I love the blog Cind..

  2. Tiffany · March 23, 2010

    haha – I saw the clip via fb last week… thought it was fantastic and a little bit gross all at the same time. funny thing is though, just went to try and visit the youtube link you left and the powers that be in the UAE have blocked it. censorship at its best.

    • cyclonecindy · March 24, 2010

      WOW. I can’t believe they do that there. Did you know there’s a ‘clean’ version.
      Here is the link – try this one. You just might not get the swear words and girl on girl pash. Or the bit where the prison guard comments on her anatomy.


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