A final word – highlights and lowlights…

Twenty four hours later, I’m assessing my overall opinion of last night’s academy awards. Here is the run down according to me. Did I love it this year? NUH!

RED CARPET – my take.
• Outstanding winner – Sandra Bullock. Every time the camera went on you, it was like chocolate for my eyes.
• Helen Mirren – Perfection
• Diane Kruger – You’ve made it interesting for sure, but you’ve wasted some perfectly good sheets
• Demi Moore – You’re the reason 40+ women everywhere are going, “She’s had work” although you claim to not have – which if true means you are a freak of nature because you looked incredible.
• Sarah Jessica – Another interesting option. We all know you have a great bod but covering it up in a floor length satin pillow case was not your best fashion move. Yes, stunning dress, but I know you, you have a waist and you look better showing it off.
• Queen Latifah – Beautiful. Truly up there with Helen.
• Elisabetta Canalis– Nobody really cares what you’re wearing other than the guy on your arm, but just so you know, red-carpet red is so last year.
• Meryl Streep – Nice for you, and I say that with trepidation because you’re a legend, but you know…. Only you could work that Princess Leia inspired number.
• Penelpope Cruz – A little boring. You’re usually the one to watch but I think you took a step backwards. The dress reminded me of prom night.
• Kate Winslett – Elegant, stunning, and another perfect.
• Tina Fey – That’s better, but I still think you need to sack your stylist (if you have one).
• Amanda Seyfried – Wedding dress alert… Did you get eloped after the show?
• Jennifer Lopez – Lovely – very you. You worked it but not my fave.
• Vera Farmiga – The dress wore you.
• Charlize Theron – Were you watching The Madonna Blonde Ambition tour live DVD when you chose that?
• Nicole Richie – It’s a look. Not one of your best. Looking as one of my friends said – very reptilian.
• Cameron Diaz – Exquisite – finally, you realise what a special night this is!
• Miley – please stand up straight, if you don’t want to show off your rack, choose a different dress

HOSTS
Not enough Alec. Too much Steve. Bring back Hugh.
And what was the deal between the hosts and George Clooney. Was the pissed off grimace at them staged?

PRESENTERS
• I noticed that Kate Winslett forgot the new rule of “The winner is” and announced, “the Oscar goes to…”
• High Point was Cameron Diaz – only rehearsed joke that seemed natural.
• Low point was definitely Ben Stiller. Dude, your style of comedy is rare and unique, and not at home on stage at the Academy Awards.
• Oprah, not that I minded, but why were you there? (Update:  ‘DOH moment… she produced Precious)
• Taylor Lautner, don’t be so nervous! Just try to imagine the audience are all topless. Goodness knows they were trying to imagine you that way!
• Ryan Reynolds. I didn’t see enough of you. You should be the host. You are no longer Van Wilder Party Liaison. You are Ryan Reynolds – future ‘world’s sexiest man of the year.’ You are more than chocolate for my eyes… you are the entire dessert buffet for my eyes!!!

ENTERTAINMENT
What entertainment? Neil-Patrick’s opening number did not thrill that much. Neither did the dance thing. The only live musical performance (outside opening number) was the music played during the memoriam. Which also – changed this year. Did the Award show producers read my blog and decide to drown out the sound of the audience clapping. It’s one of my all time favourite sociological observations. And – they left out Farrah! And what happened to live performances of all the nominated original scores???

WINNERS
• Mo’nique, Halle Berry already did the bit on talent vs politics in the academy. Seriously, we’ve all moved past that one.
• Jeff Bridges – (Or should I say Cnl Sanders…) So how much crack did you score before the show started. Obviously a lot because you were higher than a mid-flight rocket to outer space.
• Sound dudes: Sucks to be the 3rd guy that doesn’t get to thank anyone. Like guy number 2, it’s sad that your dad died, but microphone hog????
• Best costume woman – I found you to be a little ungrateful, even if you already have 2 at home. Think of poor Meryl Streep.
• Sandra – Best speech I think I’ve heard in AGES. You brought the ONLY emotional element into the whole show (there are normally 2-3 points where my eyes well up with tears), you are just so genuine and gorgeous and I don’t care what anyone says, I think Miss Congeniality was some great acting! Snort laughs do NOT come naturally!

NOTABLE ABSENCES (Well I never saw them anyway)
• Brangelina
• Tomkat
• Nicole & Keith
• Seal & Heidi (I’m actually not sure why they’re ever invited, but they are)
• Jennifer & Ben Affleck
• Amy Adams
• The entire cast of Nine excluding Penelope – notably Sophia Lauren

So that’s it for another year. And now it’s Australia’s turn with the Logies. Nowhere near as exciting, but this year, the Oscar’s won’t be hard to beat…

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